My daughter, Caitlyn, was born Sept 18, 1987. Approx 9 months after my mother passed away. When she was born, I knew that this little angel was a gift from my mother in heaven. I have two other children. To even get pregnant with them, I had to have medical assistance. It took me eight years to have my son, Michael,  and another five for my daughter, Meaghan. I thought my family was complete until my mom passed away and I found out I was pregnant with Caitlyn, without any medical assistance at all!! I used to tell her she was a gift from her grandmother. That she dropped her off on her way to heaven. I never dreamed I would only have her a short 18 yrs.

 

Growing up, Caitlyn, had a typical childhood. She belonged to a 4-H group until middle school. In the sixth grade she joined the track team. In the seventh grade she joined a pop-warner cheerleading group and stayed with that until she was 16. She had many friends. She was a good friend. She was a good daughter.

She was always joking, playing music, talking on the phone etc. Doing normal teenage stuff. I used to call her my "fun child" Mike and Meaghan are more serious than Cayte ever dreamed of being.

 

At the age of 15, she met a boy named Dante Silva. He was somewhat of a "tough" guy. She thought he walked on water. He was polite and showed respect to me. I thought, "oh, this kid is just trying to be "cool" He was two years older than Cayte.  During the next two years, they were together every day. At some point during those two years, Caitlyn started acting out. I found out that she was experimenting with prescription drugs and alcohol. I immediately went over to our police station and asked the Chief for help. He told me to get a CHINS (child in need of services) order on her. I did, mainly because they would do mandatory drug screenings on her. At one point she tested positive for cocaine and was sent away to a drug rehab for three months. I found out there that she had done cocaine three times before. She came out of the rehab looking forward to a new beginning without Dante. I can't remember when he came back into her life but unfortunately he did.  I realized that he was very controlling of my Caytie. I told her that he wasn't the kid for her and she said to me, "I know that". "I think I can help him change." Cailtyn loved being home and they spent most of their time at my house.That was alright with me because I could watch them!! 

 

At some point they had split up. Caitlyn seemed happier. She was going out with her friends and was enjoying life. One night she got a call from someone who had said Dante had overdosed. She ran right to the hospital to be by his side. I found out from his mother that he had overdosed on HEROIN. Apparently, he was at a party when he overdosed. His friends called his mother for help. He was so close to death. He was on dialysis for three weeks. After he was released from the hospital, his mother and the chief of police told him that it was either a drug rehab or jail. He picked rehab. His mother had prearranged those choices with the chief. This was in Sept of 2005. After Dante left the drug rehab (he ran away from it), he went to California with an uncle to visit family. I was glad he was out of Caitlyn's life. Caitlyn again was enjoying life. No trouble. She was thinking about what she could do in life. She was going to night school to get her diploma.

 

Around Christmas of 2005, Dante came back. Caitlyn worked at the local donut shop and he stopped by. It didn't take her long to hook up with him again. I talked with him about his overdose. He swore to me that he had learned his lesson and was trying to change. He seemed sincere. I should have known how manipulative he could be but I didn't. I allowed him back into my house. Caitlyn wanted to take him to an NA meeting. I drove them there. Caitlyn went in. He did not. At the end of Feb of 2006, they were at my house and he got mad at Caitlyn for some reason. He threw a television remote at her and gave him a fat lip. I told him to get out of the house. I told him that he wasn't welcomed in my home. I told Caitlyn that the abuse would get worse and that she needed to break up with him. I told her how abusers would apologize, profess their love to their victim and do it all over again and again. She stayed away from him but only for a few days. Now she was staying at his house. I felt alright with this, because I had met his mother many times before. She was a typical mom. Concerned for her child's welfare etc. Boy, was I ever wrong. I thought that she would have watched them in her house. Within two weeks of Caitlyn going over there almost every day she died.

 

I will never forget that day. March 15, 2006. Caitlyn had my cell phone. I tried to call a couple of times but got no answer. I had to go shopping for my annual corned beef and cabbage dinner. While, I was gone, Dante's mother called around noon and told my husband that she had to send Cayte to the hospital.  When I got home there was a note on the table to go to the hospital. The minute I got there and saw a priest, my husband, Michael and Meaghan, I knew. I also knew it was Dante's fault.

 

In the months that followed, I spoke with the Chief many times. He assured me that they were looking into Caitlyn's death. They had found out that Dante had left his house and dumped heroin and syringes in a dumpster in another town. They found out that Dante called his home and spoke to his grandmother. He told her that Caitlyn didn't feel well when he left and asked her if she could check on her. That was five hours after he left to dump the drugs. I found out through the medical examiner that my Caytie was in a coma for 6-8 hours before she died. I found out that while they were in the home there were five other adults in the home. His mother, father, grandparents and a great grandparent. They also knew that Dante had left and thought that Caitlyn was "sleeping". That just blows my mind. How could they not have checked on her. If Dante was in my house for five hours without Caitlyn, you could bet that I wouldn't have checked on him. Just to see what he was doing.

 

In the end, not only did they arrest Dante, but the person who sold him the drug, Jay. the person who drove the Jay to buy the drug from the "big dealer" Robert,  and the "big dealer" himself. A 45 year old illegal immigrant. Dante is the only one that had a trial so far. He was found guilty and is now serving a 10 year to life prison sentence. Jay pleaded guilty and was sentenced to prison for 5-10 years. Robert was put on probation but broke his probation and was sent to the county jail for one year. Arturo, the illegal immigrant, will stand trial in June 2010. He had fled the country and was arrested when he came back. He has been in jail since 2008 fighting coming to the state of NH to stand trial. He lost that bid and has been in a NH jail since Sept 2009.

 

Dante was a friend who let his friend die.

 

Since Caitlyn's death, another mother who has lost her child and I have started a support group in Rockingham/ Essex counties of Mass and NH for parents who have lost a child. This area has lost so many young people d/t drugs or alcohol. So very sad.

 

I miss my Caytie so so very much.